The Importance of Repentance in Biblical Counseling
Repentance.
Does the word invoke fear? Anger from unfinished business? Worst of all, does hearing that word stir nothing within your spirit?
Whether it is sorrow from your own sin, fear from knowing you must repent to God and others you have sinned against, or even anger connected to unheard repentance from others, biblical repentance should inspire feelings within the inner man.
Acts 3:19 says, “Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” Sorrow and repentance go hand-in-hand. By God’s grace, refreshing joy and rest in the Lord’s presence also is promised alongside repentance.
I always tell my counselees that they come to biblical counseling as those who have sinned and those who have been sinned against. Sin compounds life’s already tricky circumstances into traps that ensnare us to anxiety, hopelessness, and unmitigated anger. Left unchecked, these sins wreak havoc in our lives. They wound our souls. The only cure for these wounds is heart change through the power of the Holy Spirit. This is where repentance steps in.
Repentance? Why on earth should someone who is attending counseling need to consider repentance?
Many of the struggles we face that bring us to counseling come from self-inflicted wounds crafted by our own sin. James 1 is clear that God designs trials in our lives as a way to refine us. Trials grow us to look more like Jesus. That growth, sanctification, holiness is our joy.
However, every honest person is aware that life’s difficulties make it easier to sin. Interestingly enough, James 1 uses the same Greek word peirasmos and its derivatives to describe both trials (vv. 2, 12) and temptations (vv. 13, 14). James is clear that while God designs trials for our good, the temptations are not from Him. Our old selves are the most effective vehicle for temptation.
Sure we can blame the devil or the world, but the majority of the time, it is our own sinful hearts that tempt us to sin. Hard circumstances can either shape us or break us. Usually, it is a blend of both. Even counselees who have gone through some of life’s most inconceivable tribulations will have sinned and are in great need of repentance.
What does this repentance provide for those who are in the depths of trials?
First, it provides right standing with God. The sorrow and pain that accompany repentance should lead us to confess our sin to God (2 Corinthians 7:10). 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Confession and asking God for forgiveness removes the chasm sin created.
Second, repentance provides growth in holiness. Every person who comes to counseling wants to “feel better.” That’s fair. As a biblical counselor, I want you to feel better, too. Overall, I prioritize your holiness over your happiness. This means that going through the pain of uncovering your sin is of utmost importance. Why? Because it will lead you to look more like Jesus, which brings about an imperishable happiness.
Third, repentance provides fruits of the Spirit, including deep and abiding joy. In my first counseling session, I hand each counselee a list of the fruits of the Spirit and ask them which three would they like to have more of in their lives. Without fail, every counselee says they want joy. The beautiful thing about repentance is that I can promise joy will follow. It is part of the gift God gives when He saves us.
My husband often says, “It is about direction, not perfection.” This is not an original idea by John Walter. Our Reformed Christian heritage has taught this theme for centuries. We know we will never be perfectly holy on this side of heaven, that Christian perfectionism is a lie. Yet, we live in fear of repentance, fear that we have sinned and need forgiveness daily.
Often, Christians forget that they sin; nevertheless they demand repentance from others. Sadly, all this does for believers is distance themselves further from God and the joy that is promised through true repentance.
Christians are a repenting people.
If you are a Christian who does not have a habit of repentance, I urge you to go to God in prayer right now. If you are unsure of any sin you have in your life, pray what David prayed in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”
Through consistent prayer, dwelling on God’s Word, fellowship with other believers, and obedience, God will reveal to you what needs to change in your heart. He is a faithful God who works everything for our good and His glory.
Soli Deo Gloria
Does the word invoke fear? Anger from unfinished business? Worst of all, does hearing that word stir nothing within your spirit?
Whether it is sorrow from your own sin, fear from knowing you must repent to God and others you have sinned against, or even anger connected to unheard repentance from others, biblical repentance should inspire feelings within the inner man.
Acts 3:19 says, “Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” Sorrow and repentance go hand-in-hand. By God’s grace, refreshing joy and rest in the Lord’s presence also is promised alongside repentance.
I always tell my counselees that they come to biblical counseling as those who have sinned and those who have been sinned against. Sin compounds life’s already tricky circumstances into traps that ensnare us to anxiety, hopelessness, and unmitigated anger. Left unchecked, these sins wreak havoc in our lives. They wound our souls. The only cure for these wounds is heart change through the power of the Holy Spirit. This is where repentance steps in.
Repentance? Why on earth should someone who is attending counseling need to consider repentance?
Many of the struggles we face that bring us to counseling come from self-inflicted wounds crafted by our own sin. James 1 is clear that God designs trials in our lives as a way to refine us. Trials grow us to look more like Jesus. That growth, sanctification, holiness is our joy.
However, every honest person is aware that life’s difficulties make it easier to sin. Interestingly enough, James 1 uses the same Greek word peirasmos and its derivatives to describe both trials (vv. 2, 12) and temptations (vv. 13, 14). James is clear that while God designs trials for our good, the temptations are not from Him. Our old selves are the most effective vehicle for temptation.
Sure we can blame the devil or the world, but the majority of the time, it is our own sinful hearts that tempt us to sin. Hard circumstances can either shape us or break us. Usually, it is a blend of both. Even counselees who have gone through some of life’s most inconceivable tribulations will have sinned and are in great need of repentance.
What does this repentance provide for those who are in the depths of trials?
First, it provides right standing with God. The sorrow and pain that accompany repentance should lead us to confess our sin to God (2 Corinthians 7:10). 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Confession and asking God for forgiveness removes the chasm sin created.
Second, repentance provides growth in holiness. Every person who comes to counseling wants to “feel better.” That’s fair. As a biblical counselor, I want you to feel better, too. Overall, I prioritize your holiness over your happiness. This means that going through the pain of uncovering your sin is of utmost importance. Why? Because it will lead you to look more like Jesus, which brings about an imperishable happiness.
Third, repentance provides fruits of the Spirit, including deep and abiding joy. In my first counseling session, I hand each counselee a list of the fruits of the Spirit and ask them which three would they like to have more of in their lives. Without fail, every counselee says they want joy. The beautiful thing about repentance is that I can promise joy will follow. It is part of the gift God gives when He saves us.
My husband often says, “It is about direction, not perfection.” This is not an original idea by John Walter. Our Reformed Christian heritage has taught this theme for centuries. We know we will never be perfectly holy on this side of heaven, that Christian perfectionism is a lie. Yet, we live in fear of repentance, fear that we have sinned and need forgiveness daily.
Often, Christians forget that they sin; nevertheless they demand repentance from others. Sadly, all this does for believers is distance themselves further from God and the joy that is promised through true repentance.
Christians are a repenting people.
If you are a Christian who does not have a habit of repentance, I urge you to go to God in prayer right now. If you are unsure of any sin you have in your life, pray what David prayed in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”
Through consistent prayer, dwelling on God’s Word, fellowship with other believers, and obedience, God will reveal to you what needs to change in your heart. He is a faithful God who works everything for our good and His glory.
Soli Deo Gloria